Untied
by Inomuiro
Summary: Years have passed and people change, but sometimes it takes something sad and shocking to happen, to acknowledge one's real feelings. SakuLee, Oneshot. Warnings: slight angst and Sasukebashing


Sakura let the warm water splash all over her body, soothing the tense muscles of her shoulders and her tired limbs. It draft away, bringing the mud and dirt she was covered of away with itself. As she turned up to let it hit her face, the girl wished it could also stream through her brain, her mind, cleaning it of all the sour thoughts it housed.

When she finally stepped out of the shower, she smelled something good, and spicy, coming form beyond the bathroom's door. She quickly dried herself. The bathroom was small, furnished with only the undispensable, but it was nice all the same. Here and there the signs of its occupant's personality were visible: the towels with little turtles or lizards drawings embroidered, a musk scented shampoo, bottles of balsams for the muscles. Sakura smiled, catching a turtle even on the glass which contained toothbrush and paste, over the sink. Then she got a glimpse of her own reflection on the mirror and her smile turned into a bitter smirk. Even through the misted glass she could see that her face was horrible, her eyes reddened from too much crying and with dark marks to rival that guy's, Gaara's, all around them. It was like all of her appearance was emanating a shadow of disheartening all around her. The girl shook her head and finished drying her hair, then she put on the t-shirt and jogging-pants he had lent her. The yellow t-shirt was almost a dress on her smaller frame, but they were comfortable.

She opened the door, entering the main room of the small apartment, living, dining and, when the futon now quickly rolled away in a corner was spread out, sleeping-room. On the left wall there was the main door, while in front of her a wooden panel separated the kitchen, from where came the noises of someone busy. A table, a large library and a couch were almost the only furniture there. It wasn't so strange. As a full-time living alone ninja Lee got little time to spend house-keeping: when he wasn't on missions he usually trained (which to him was also a recreation), studied for his exams at the academy, or hang around with his ex-team-mates and friends. So he did his best to avoid the flat being a mess and that was the end. Just like in the bathroom, everywhere there was a sensation of… comfort. Like being in a nest. It was a good feeling to Sakura, maybe one of the reasons that made her come there in the first place.

"Lee?" she called.

"Ah, Sakura!" the black-haired boy exclaimed, peeking from behind the kitchen panel with a big smile.

"How do you feel now?" he asked.

"Much better, thanks!" It wasn't the truth, not entirely, but…

"Great! It's almost ready. Please, make yourself at home!".

Sakura sighed. As storming there in the middle of the night, soaked from the rain that had poured down since than morning and exhausted from crying, and getting to have a shower, dry clothes and a meal wasn't making oneself at home, she thought bitterly. She really had no justifications for how she was behaving with her friend. Yes, Lee's heart was so big the sea could not fill it, and surely he would have been kind in the same way had she been TenTen or Naruto or (hard to imagine) Neji, but still… there were bonds, and she was trespassing all of them.

Anyway, since there was little left to do about it, at that point, she chose a big flat cushion and sat on the floor, her back against the couch (it was a terrible ergonomical monster Lee got as a gift from his aunt: nobody could sit or lie on it for more than five minutes. He probably used it to train his endurance in discomfort situation). She looked around, taking in all the marks of Lee's life in that place. The green training suits hanging in the cabinet left half-open (my, he got an entire series of them. Luckily, to sleep he wore a black sleeveless shirt and grey baggy pants), the weights and the other gymnastic tools neatly disposed in the corner near the entrance door, beside a stall bar. The library was full of books and magazines, themes ranging from weapons to the care of goldenfishes, till you arrived to the collections of Lovecraft novels.

On a small three-legged table near the couch there was a set of framed photos: Lee's parents, who had died not long after his birth, Lee with Gai-sensei, with Neji and TenTen, one of him, the brown-haired girl, Shikamaru, Choji and Sakura herself, from the evening, more than one year ago, they went out to see a horror movie, then went looking for scary places around Konoha and ended having breakfast at TenTen's house, colded and tired. They had never had more fun (yes, Shika"too troublesome"maru too. He had become quite friendly with TenTen after that). Sakura reached to take the photo. They were in the cinema's hall, Shika with his usual annoyed look, TenTen pinching at his cheek (maybe that was the reason) while Choji laughed. Lee was doing his custom good guy pose and Sakura rolled her eyes, smiling. She had put an arm over his shoulders. She didn't remembered that.

"Here it is!" Lee interrupted her remembrance coming over with two big steaming bowls, chopsticks and a bottle of water. Sakura stood up to help him and they settled to dine on the floor.

"It's just pre-cooked ramen… I'm sorry I couldn't fix something better…" Lee began.

"Lee, it's me who has to apologize." the pink-haired girl said before he found the way to challenge himself somehow on the matter. "I came here and imposed myself in such a selfish way… you should have kicked me back out!" she said, sincerely.

She really felt bad for being so selfish and unconsidered. Still… she couldn't but feel happy, at least a little. Happy that he had come to open the door when she had knocked, happy that, as soon as he recognized her, his sleepy expression had lightened up, to turn immediately into a worried frown when he had realized she must have been wandering in the rain. It had made her heart warm a little. If someone like Lee could still care for her like that, she must not be such a deprecable person, right? Then she had been overcome by the shame for having come there seeking for comfort… but it was too late. She had been a weakling as always.

"I could have never dreamt of that!" exclaimed Lee, his big dark eyes showing all the youthful determination they could contain. "And there's no need to apologize." Flashy smile. "I'm always ready to help young beautiful women in distress and to have midnight snacks!" Thumb up. "Now let's eat, else it'll become cold."

Sakura looked at him. How could he be so… so inexhaustible? But he wasn't, she had to remember. He, to use an euphemism, had hit some really low points, into his life, and hit them hard. The simple fact he had to work the double of all of them to realize his objectives… and to think there were people born with all the gifts to become great ninjas, and they didn't want it, or wished it, the skill and the power, for the wrong reasons. Getting close as they had in the past years, Sakura had seen him beaten to the ground, bleeding body and soul, even crying, and he always rose up again, blooming more than twice as the lotus from which his techniques were named. He went over the worst, leaving it behind, holding only what he thought it could be of some teaching. And he succeeded. He was a chunin now, specialized in top-secret solo missions, strong and fast enough to beat an army, and if he kept on doing like he was, he was going to become a legend: the young leaf-ninja who needed no ninjutsu or genjutsu at all.

And still, inside, he was the same: the same earnest, sometimes goofy boy who could go directly from exaggerated shyness to absurd emotive outbursts (lately, thankfully, only when he was with Gai-sensei… they seemed to hold it like a strange sort of private ritual…). The boy who had tried to win the attention of a girl blowing to her heart-shaped kisses… and who not long after that had risked his life for the same girl, who sure as hell didn't deserve that.

Sakura's grip over the chopsticks tightened. She… was his friend.

Since he had proudly declared he had gone past his youngly crush and had come to Love and Respect her as a Friend and Fellow Ninja (his skill in talking in capitals was reaching Gai-sensei's level… something that made Kakashi-sensei shake his head), they had started spending quite a lot of time together, training, talking about everything, simply watching movies or having a walk in silence. She had found she could show many of her "Inner Sakura"'s traits, like her fondness for bad B-movies, or her sometimes weird sense of humour, without him running away in horror at the crumbling of some idealized, angelic Sakura-san's image (even if he had been quite taken aback, at first). They even shared the fondness for ultra-hot-spiced food she always hid because she thought of it as not womanly. With the taijutsu specialist, she could be herself like with any other person before, and it was also helping her to overcome the fear to show more of her true colours to the other people. And Lee had taught her a lot, without even knowing, first of all that you have to believe in, love and be strong for yourself first, or you could never even think about being strong for the people you cared for. For her part, she had tried all her best to support Lee in every moment, and at least she and TenTen had succeeded in making him stop to methodically push himself beyond his physical limits (at least too far). They finally put into his round head that if he was going further than opening six gates, they would have find a way to resurrect him only to kick his ass to death another time. Gai-sensei didn't approve but since he got a good ninja survival instinct he didn't object either.

Sakura felt Lee's gaze over her. He was worrying at her silence. She caught his eyes, smiling a little.

"Thank you." It held all she meant and more. Lee accepted it with a small bow of the head, then took his bowl, imitated by the girl.

They ate in comfortable silence the (for any other person) unhumanly hot noodles. As she sipped the warm soup, Sakura felt something like a knot slowly beginning to loose, somehow, somewhere.

She didn't realized she had started speaking.

"Sasuke came to see me, this afternoon. He's going to leave another time. His exact words were: my path of vengeance is not over. It isn't even halfway. I hope Naruto finds out so he can try beat some sense into him".

Lee listened, watching her with attention.

"He asked me to go with him."

"And you?". The black-haired boy's voice had sounded just a little bit tense? Maybe it was just an impression.

"I told him I would not, obviously." Anger and resignation resounded in the girl's voice. "You know why he asked me? 'Cause he knows I've become really a good medical nin, Godaime Hokage's true disciple, and that my strenght increased so much thanks to her teachings. He… since Sasuke came back the last time, two years ago, he ignored me, and that was fine, 'cause even if I still love him, and wish for him to be well, I just couldn't stand what he had become… no, not what he's become. What he always had been and now is just more evident… or maybe it's just me, I am not so fool anymore. I mean, his arrogance, the way he behaves like he's the only one in the world who has known pain and suffer. And then he turns up with this. He couldn't believe I refused. He was sure that I would have been the same gullible girl I was years ago, that I would just start jumping around in joy, packed up and left all my life behind because he decided that after all I could be of some use. That pissed me off so much… I told him to forget that, that I was changed, and I was going to leave when…" she trailed off, embarrassed.

"When what?"

Sakura looked at him with eyes so consumed by tears they seemed made of bottle-glass.

"He started… to say things about you, of all the things he could do! It seems that the only information he learnt about me since he's come back is that you're my best friend." That made Lee blink, but she was too engulfed in quickly growing anger to notice. "So he started with such obnoxious remarks about how I… I've settled for low. Dammit, he's got the emotional maturity of a six years old! And I know I should think about all he went through, and that I should be understanding and all, but this time I won't!"

She stood up full height, startling Lee, her fists clenched tight, full Inner Sakura Mode on. "He doesn't know a thing about you, or us, and he spits sentences like that, after he's even stole your taijutsu, back ago! He just can't forget that you beat him, and that was six years ago, while even you and Gaara for hell's sake have become friends. That pissed me off to no limit!". She remained there panting, looking at the wall opposite to her like she was going to reduce it to smithereens.

Lee, who had cautiously backed away a little, taking the bowls to safety, just round-eyed her from below.

Sakura sat back, trying to compose herself. "So I told him to fuck off and left".

"A-ha…"

"But then… it was like opening a box full of dark things, things I usually avoid to think about, and that now were coming over all together. I started to think about myself and… well, if Sasuke was expecting something like that from me, it was because I gave him reasons to, right? I am… I am not a good kind of person". She looked down, feeling it again. The distress that had accompanied her all along her walk in the rain. It had been stupid behaving like that, but she just couldn't stop. Like, once she had start to fall, she should only try to make the fall faster. Her voice resounded with bitterness "I've stuck to learning healing-jutsu 'cause it seems the only thing I can do. But I'm not strong, neither in will nor in body like I should, like Tsunade-sama is, not even vaguely so. I always need to cling to someone, to have someone telling me I'm good even if I know it's only a lie… even now I came here, with all my problems, and just poured all them over you… I don't want to be pitied, I swear it, but… look at me, it's just what I'm doing…".

Sakura fell silent. She really felt she was such a deprecable person… Suddenly she looked at a palm just before her nose.

"Ok, stop that!" Lee bowed to be head-level with her and locked their gazes, her frail azure one and his steel-strong dark own. He inspired deeply, like he was going into some sort of incredibly hard trial. "Sakura, I lived for years on my points to hear Gai-sensei tell me that I was good. It's… normal, just like it is for you wanting to hear that from Tsunade-sama or Kakashi-sensei. They're the people whose opinion matters the most, because to us they're important, they're family, and more, and even if it seems incredible, I know that sometimes they feel the same about us. Even the Hokage, I believe she must value the opinion of every one of the inhabitants of Konoha, because of the trust they have on her… They care for us, but they'll never lie to us, not about something like that. Tell me, does Tsunade-sama tell you often she's satisfied of your work?"

"…No."

"But when she does, she means it, you know that!"

"Some time ago I would be happy for just anyone showing appreciation for me… even if it was Sasuke, and he was just looking at me simply with no annoyance… well, in that case I would just be the happiest person in the world!"

"And now?"

"Surely not!"

"'Cause back there you were more naive. switch into Gai-sensei mode the Bright Pureness of Youth, though Beautiful, sometimes brings Naivety with itself, switch off but it's only natural… Now we're all more mature, at least a bit!"

"Still…"

"If you happen to like a lot the thing you're the best at, what's the problem? I like taijutsu too, and really a lot. Yes, it's the only form of fighting I can practice to be a ninja, but if I didn't like fighting using my body like a weapon, instead of illusions or magical arts, I could never be really good. I could be pretty good, but never the best that I'm aiming to be. I would just keep forcing myself into doing it, building a tension that would explode, sooner or later, and that's what you're doing too! I mean, not being the best in what you like just because you think you can't be the best in everything else… it's ok training into everything, 'cause it's what ninja do, we need it, but that should not, I mean, take away the joy from what you really like… I think I'm losing the thread, but anyway, do you get my point?"

Lee's hands were over her shoulders, and Sakura stared back into his burning gaze.

She realized she was gaping like a fish, too dumbstruck by the sea of words. Then…

"…your body is much more than a weapon…"

And where the hell had that com from!

They both blushed, and Lee stumbled back.

"Ah… well… thank you… no, I mean…" he choked over his words, his face gaining an almost apoplectic shade of red. He looked so different from the inspired man talking just moments before.

Sakura smiled, then chuckled, then she openly laughed, light-hearted, the dark bundle of tension drafting away. After a moment Lee joined her.

"I feel very stupid now" Sakura finally said, between the laughs. "It's… how can you make things so clear to me?".

"Years of training. Hard work always pays… at least into self-convincing".

"You know you're not like that". He smiled. Lee was really cute, when he smiled without flashing special effects… how he could hide such strenght under that was a mystery.

"But I'm still sorry for pouring it all over you."

"Well, I've got big, broad shoulders."

"You really have, to put up with someone like me."

"I think it's worth it."

Silence, again. Then…

"So… I should let you go back to sleep… what do you have to do tomorrow morning?"

"Only my personal training."

"Harder than ever, then…"

"Well… ah, you're going to stay here too, aren't you? It's still raining, and it's almost two o'clock."

"It's too late to say that I don't want to disturb, right?"

Lee only smiled, and Sakura felt a warmth inside, like she did only when… well, when she was with him.

They put away the dishes, then unrolled the futon and, after a bit of debate (no, she was not going to invade his house like that AND make him sleep on the floor or over the diabolical couch, at least not in the same night), they lied under the cover on their side, back to back.

"Good night, Lee."

"Night… uhm, Sakura?"

"Yes?"

"I'm… I'm happy you came here. You should have done it immediately when you felt there was something wrong".

"I think I needed time to… I don't know, brood about it all by myself. Like this was some sort of bad seed that needed to grow and spring, stinking, to be thorn at the roots, something like that. But I really had to come here to you, then… I just… needed you."

Here it was again. That knot, just on the edge of completely untying, freeing something. It had to do with… with how they talked, and listened, to each other.

With how she felt at ease around Lee, giving him a casual hug, or leaning on him while they took a rest after training, when their breath seemed to resonate.

With how he could make her laugh, and how she tried to teach him some attention for his body.

It had to do with the way she peeked at him, sometimes, stealing images of his muscled but still lean physique, of those scarred arms so strong, when she thought he wasn't noticing. Sometimes she had thought he too did something similar, catching from her appearance when she was distracted.

It had also to do with a lot of mental ramblings, from the old "How I know I'm not trying to make up for some other person, that would be too cruel" one to the "Now I'm just his friend, I don't want to ruin it, it would be so selfish to want something more".

Now she could watch it all, and feel it distant. Something had changed, clearly, maybe just thanks to a horrible day that made her realize what really something so important and obvious she didn't even notice. So…

"Lee?"

"What?"

"What you said the first time we met… do you really don't think that anymore?"

Fear, sudden, freezing. She clenched at the border of the cover, realizing she had just staked all of herself.

The silence stretched, then Lee spoke, voice low, and heavy.

"…Yes, I still do. I'm sorry, I know it's stupid being like that… it seems someone here it's not so mature, after all. But I don't want anything more than being your friend, you must know that. Just… if you can bear it up…"

The relief that washed over her at the first words was so intense she couldn't make up what else Lee was saying. It wasn't too late! It wasn't… and that meant everything. There was no need for them to bear that suffering anymore. Sakura turned over and hugged Lee, practically jumping over the boy, then she reached to kiss him. It wasn't exactly a perfect kiss, since Lee had been startled and she almost missed his lips because of the awkward position, but the message was clear.

The pink-haired girl pushed herself up a bit, and looked at the gaping boy in the eyes.

"I… I think I just had a, how do they call it, an epiphany."

"W… what!" said Lee totally dumbfounded.

"Yes, this is it. I love you, I want to be with you, and if you'll be so nice to give me a chance I'll find a way to make you forgive me for it had taken so long to realize it." She said all that feeling so light she was sure she was going to fly. It was… so simple, so right…

She smiled lovingly at him, and reached to caress his cheek. There was a reason she felt physically so at ease near him. That was the place where she was meant to be.

"Will you? Give me the chance?" she whispered.

Lee looked at her round-eyed for a long moment, like he could not comprehend what was going on. Then the biggest smile she had ever saw dawned over his features, and, doing honour to the light-fast speed he had become legendary for, Lee took her into his arms, and kissed her the answer.


End file.
